Always Demand More From Yourself

I never cease to be amazed by how many people are content with doing the minimum, with doing just what’s asked of them—when there’s so much more that’s in them. And the biggest thing that holds them back is their standard—their expectation of what acceptable performance for them.

Chelsea, I don’t know if you remember this conversation, but when you were in elementary school, you were used to getting A’s, and then one day you came home with a C, and it was on an essay exam.

In your mind, you had done a good job and answered the question, but the teacher disagreed. I can still remember my response to you all these years later. I said …

“Chelsea, up to this point, you’ve lived in a True/False, Multiple Choice World, where you either got the question right or you got the question wrong. But now you’re entering the Essay world, and you’re going to be here for the rest of your life. In the Essay world, if you answer a question correctly, you get a C, because that’s what a C means. A C means you answered the question correctly.

In the True/False or Multiple Choice World, the correct answer gets you an A, but in the Essay World it only gets you a C. If you want to get a B, then you need to show your teacher something more. You have to show them something better than average. You need to show them that you’ve thought about this question more deeply and that you have a better reasoned answer than just regurgitating the correct answer.

But remember, just giving your teacher something more doesn’t earn you an A, it only gets you a B. If you want an A, then you need to earn an A. And an A answer goes above and beyond what could be expected. An A answer shows your teacher something new and different. An A answer shows your teacher that you’ve done more research and uncovered something other kids haven’t or you’ve thought more deeply and connected more ideas or you’ve crafted your argument in a new and more compelling way.

Chelsea, you’ve just entered the Essay World. And if you want to keep getting A’s, then you’re going to have to raise your standard of what’s acceptable for you. Just giving your teacher the ”right answer“ will give you C’s. If you want to keep getting A’s, then you’re going to have to earn them from now on by giving your teacher more than what’s expected.”

And the only person who can do that is … you! Now, the good news is that both of you have responded and done exceedingly well in school. Your mother and I are exceedingly proud of both of you. However, as you transition from home and college, into real life, I cannot overstate how important this lesson is going to be for you.

Your bosses won’t be giving you exams any more to let you know what grade you’re earning. When you get married someday, your spouse won’t be giving you exams. When you serve in church or in a community organization, you won’t be getting exam grades back. No, from this point forward, it’s all up to you.

You have to determine what level of performance is acceptable for you. And my encouragement, if you want to live an exceptional life, is to always demand more from yourself, than anyone else can reasonably expect from you. Show up early. Do more research. Think more deeply. Connect more ideas. Help more people. Practice longer. Stay later. Check one more reference. Make five more phone calls. Submit more ideas. Refuse to accept ordinary. Do one more re-write. Etc. In other words, demand more from yourself—and you’ll live an exceptional life.

One of the people whose example best demonstrated this for me was Carl F. H. Henry. Dr. Henry was one of the great theologians of the twentieth century—and the founder of the magazine, Christianity Today, When I was in seminary, Dr. Henry came to campus to present a week long intensive course.  Knowing his background in writing, and desiring to write someday, I set up an appointment to meet with him.  When I walked into his office, he was pouring over a manuscript. I sat down and then asked him my big question.  “As someone who aspires to write sometime in the future, what advice would you give a young writer?”

He looked at me and said, “Come over here.”  I walked up behind his desk as he was pointing to the manuscript he was correcting and I was shocked.  I had never seen so much red on a document in all of my life.  Whole paragraphs were crossed off.  Sentences red lined.  Words circled.  New words written above crossed out ones.  Arrows pointing to new places. It was a bloody mess.

Then Professor Henry said something I’ve never forgotten. “Bruce, this is my third draft.”

I was shocked. The great Carl F.H. Henry had just butchered his own third draft.  He then went on to say the second thing I’ve never forgotten, “You see, the difference between an amateur writer and a professional is that an amateur writes something and says, ‘Oh, that’s good!’.  But a professional always thinks, ‘That could be better,’ because the essence of good writing is rewriting.”  And then came the clincher, “Bruce, the only thing that stops a professional from continually rewriting a piece he’s written is a deadline.”

I’ve never forgotten that conversation (or seeing all that red on a manuscript) but it changed me. Dr. Henry was a great man in many ways, but, in my humble opinion, it was that standard that he held himself to that made everything else work so well. So may I encourage you to be just like Dr. Henry, and always demand more of yourself than anyone else.