There is a natural tendency within all of us that wants to put off dealing with anything uncomfortable–yet following that tendency almost always makes the situation worse (especially in the long run). It’s far better to push through the short term “pain” or uncomfortableness and do what needs to be done, than it is to simply avoid doing what needs to be done, as long as possible.
- Paying your bills. Don’t wait until the last moment and then risk late fees and interest charges. Always pay them with a few days margin. And of your bills, the three most important bills are your rent/mortgage (you always want a roof over your head), your credit card bill (this will usually be your largest bill and the interest on this alone will kill you if you don’t pay it off every month) and your insurance bill (if you miss by a day they may cancel your insurance and then you’ll really pay through the roof–always, always pay your insurance bill early)
- Seeing the doctor. If you notice a spot or feel something unusual, don’t wait. Go see the doctor. Avoiding seeing a doctor is never a wise strategy. This principle also applies to the dentist.
- Telling a boyfriend it’s over. Yes, you may care for him–but that doesn’t mean you should put off telling him it’s over. Dragging on a relationship with someone you really don’t want to be in a relationship with, just because you don’t want to have “the conversation,” with him isn’t a wise strategy. When it’s over, it’s over. Have the conversation.
- Having a crucial conversation. Every relationship has junk in it (not just boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife). As you’ve heard me say, “It’s impossible for two people who come from different backgrounds, who have different personalities, different likes and dislikes, and different experiences to be in a relationship with someone and not have conflict.” The question is never whether there’s going to be conflict. The only question is when (and over what). However, that said, it’s not the conflict that creates real relational problems. It’s avoiding those difficult conversations that does them in. So, don’t avoid conflict. Have the hard conversations as soon as possible.
- Fixing something on your car. Avoiding replacing tires that are worn out is always unwise. Or avoiding getting an oil change or a transmission fluid flush (minor costs when compared to having to replace an engine). Or avoiding to check your fluids. These are all minor issues compared to what could happen. So, don’t avoid what needs to be done on your car.
- Homework/Work Projects. Enough said! Since you both struggle with this one :-).
One of the core drivers in every human being is the desire to avoid pain. However, part of the maturation process is learning how to overcome that driver so that you’re able to do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, so that short-term pain leads to long-term pleasure (and not the reverse). As hard as it may be, always remember that avoiding something uncomfortable is NOT in your best interest.