Always Focus on Interests, Not Positions
Invariably, the two of you are going to run into conflict virtually every day for the rest of your lives (between roommates, bosses, fellow employees, teachers, family members, neighbors, etc.). But don’t worry, it’s not personal–it’s just part of the human condition. Everyone (including the two of you) is hardwired for self-interest–which means that, at [...]
Master the Different Myers-Briggs Temperaments
As you both know, I’m a huge fan of the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory® (MBTI®), but what you may not know is why. Back in the early years of my former career, I was getting tired/exhausted from all the conflict. No matter what the subject, it seemed like someone always disagreed–which often lead to letters (this [...]
If You Want to Get Where You Want to Go Faster, Plan
I know that the two of you have a personality preference for spontaneity over planning, for acting by the “seat of your pants” vs. taking intentional and deliberate pre-thought steps, but if you want to get where you want to go faster or accomplish something faster, then you’ll want to add planning and project management [...]
As Within, So Without
If there’s ever anything that you’re not happy with or want to change on the outside of your life, then the place where you need to begin the process of changing it is on the inside—not the outside. Why? Because of the Law of Correspondence. What is the Law of Correspondence? It’s an essential life [...]
There is No Success Without Sacrifice
As I’ve mentioned before, most people like the idea of being better or being more successful or being fit or being happy or being in a great relationship—but yet they don’t really want those things—despite what they might say. Why do I say that? Because they’re not willing to do what’s necessary to obtain the [...]
It’s Values First in Dating
At this stage of the dance, for the two of you, dating is about two primary things. 1. Determining if this is the right person for you, and 2. Preparing each other for your future spouse (whether it’s you or not). Since the mate question is always front and center at this stage of your [...]
95% is 5% Too Short
As you’ve probably already noticed, most people are content with doing less than a 100%. They’ll do “just enough” and be happy with that—but “just enough” is not enough if you want to be at a top performer (whether that’s at work or at home or at church or for a non-profit). In fact, let [...]
Make Execution One of Your Core Competencies
As an employee, there are few more important reputations you can acquire than this one, “She gets things done!” Despite what you may want to think, the primary reason anyone gets hired is because another person (boss/owner/executive/manager etc.) wants to achieve a result–and they need someone else to help them achieve that result. No owner [...]
Always Apologize
As much as we all like NCIS, Leroy Jethro Gibbs is absolutely wrong on this one. Apologizing is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. And more importantly, it’s a sign of someone’s commitment to a relationship. One of the things I’ve always taught the leaders I’ve led or coached is to [...]
Create Margin in Everything, All the Time
There is tendency in our culture, and both of you have picked it up, to run everything to the edge. In other words, you tend to wait until the last moment to do something. You tend to spend what you have. You tend to wait until the gas gauge is past empty. You tend to [...]
Use Your Imagination for Its Intended Purpose, Not for Fear
Every day of your lives, the two of you are presented with an unbelievable number of opportunities where you can either anticipate the best or the worst of that event/experience/moment/activity etc. For example, Your boss is going to be happy with you or rake you over the coals You’re going to ace an exam or [...]
Eliminate “I Know That!” From Your Vocabulary
When I’m giving a seminar, one of my frequent comments to my audiences is, “Now, as we’re going through this material, if you ever catch yourself saying, ”I know that!“ I want to encourage you to eliminate that thought immediately. Why? Because knowing something intellectually is irrelevant to our discussion today. The only relevant questions [...]
Always Demand More From Yourself
I never cease to be amazed by how many people are content with doing the minimum, with doing just what’s asked of them—when there’s so much more that’s in them. And the biggest thing that holds them back is their standard—their expectation of what acceptable performance for them. Chelsea, I don’t know if you remember [...]
Avoiding Something Uncomfortable Is Never In Your Best Interest
There is a natural tendency within all of us that wants to put off dealing with anything uncomfortable–yet following that tendency almost always makes the situation worse (especially in the long run). It’s far better to push through the short term “pain” or uncomfortableness and do what needs to be done, than it is to [...]
First You Make Your Choices, Then Your Choices Make You
As I was pondering this first post, I started to get stuck. Out of all the hundreds of life lessons I want to make sure I pass along to you, which one should I start with? That’s a daunting question (and one we’ll come back to since you both struggle with procrastination :-). But then [...]